What the hell do you think you're doing? Yes, you. No, don't look behind you to see who else is in the room. I'm talking to you - the muppet reading this review! Why am I calling you a muppet? Isn't it obvious? Either you already own Halo 2, know that it is the ultimate gaming experience and are wasting valuable Halo 2 playing time, or you don't yet own Halo 2 and you're wasting valuable time that could be spent heading to the shops right now to buy it, and an Xbox too if you don't already own one. Yes, Halo 2 really is that good.

For those of you still here (why, why are you still here, didn't you read the opening paragraph?) I expect you want to know something about the game. Okay, here we go: it's the best Xbox game ever, it's arguably the best game ever in the history of gaming and it has excelled all the expectations of even the biggest Halo fans who were expecting the world and more. Well they got it. Okay, can I get back to playing Halo 2 now? What do you mean you need to know more? Talk about demanding!

This is actually one of the most difficult reviews I've ever written, simply because there are so many truly wonderful things to tell you about, yet I can't tell you about most of them without ruining the impact and surprise as you play through the game. So I'm going to stick to very general terms and only mention a tiny, tiny proportion of the cool new things in Halo 2 that won't spoil the plot or the big surprises. Just bear in mind that whilst there are over 3,000 words of information here, this doesn't even scratch the surface; there are major new features (and I mean major), which are fundamental to the game that I don't even hint at.

Our story begins back on Earth, where Master Chief and Cortana have just made it home when the inevitable happens - a Covenant attack on our home planet itself. Yes, we all knew it was coming in Halo 2 from the trailers and videos we've seen, so that's not spoiling anything. This first level is pretty big, at least twice the size of the first level in Halo (where you abandon the besieged Pillar of Autumn) and it recaptures that spirit of excitement and action perfectly, as you make your way through a huge space station orbiting Earth with the Covenant invading and attacking at every turn.

The story in Halo 2 is far superior to the quite outstanding story of Halo and it builds greatly upon everything we've seen before. We see a lot more of the Covenant this time, seeing what is going on with their leaders, the mysterious Prophets, and getting a great insight into the various races that are part of this alien religion. As you play through the single player mode you will be taken to places you never dreamed of even in your most wild imaginings, blowing away all the boundaries and taking you on the most spectacular and exciting journey ever to feature in a video game. A lot of you will be wondering if the Flood, the Sentinels and that annoying and slightly insane droid, Guilty Spark 343, make a return in Halo 2. Well, I'm not going to tell you - play for yourself and find out! Suffice to say, there is more to the story and the locations you visit than you ever expected - far more.

Coming onto the graphics, they are a substantial improvement upon the already wonderful looking original, particularly in the area of the characters. Allies and enemies alike look truly next generation, with gleaming surfaces, textures, bump mapping and all the stops pulled out to make them more detailed, better animated and more realistic than anything you've seen before in a console game. The face detail is much, much better and faces are now properly animated and a lot more expressive. The Chief himself looks simply awesome and has an astounding amount of detail, Cortana looks a lot different and is wonderfully animated, whilst the marines all have better faces and gorgeous gleaming textures on their combat gear.

However, the aliens almost steal the show! The Grunts are very similar in design to before but now the rough skin on their arms looks totally 3D and their armour gleams. The Jackals look much more bird-like and are quite scary-looking up close; they're also much quicker on their feet and better at dodging and using their shields. The Hunters are huge, about 50% bigger than before and whilst they still have that weak spot at their backs, it takes a lot more than one pistol shot to kill them. Their energy weapons have been redesigned too and now fire extended beams quite lethally. Finally, the crowning achievement is the Elites, who look far more ferocious and scary, with their squid-like mouths consisting of four lips like the fingers of a hand, each adorned with sharp teeth. And their armour is now as cool looking as Master Chief's.

Most of you know there are new Covenant races to meet and defeat - there are the Brutes, briefly seen in one of the Halo 2 preview videos and these guys are seriously lethal, whether shooting you to pieces or charging at you like crazed gorillas. The Prophets, the leaders of the Covenant, are prominent in the cut scenes and I'll let you find out just what role they play in the actual game. These two are not the only new enemies you'll come across but I'm not about to spoil the impact of when one particularly unpleasant new foe first makes its appearance - or the impact of how cool certain returning foes now look either.

Suffice to say, every enemy looks fantastic and those complaining of the limited range of enemies in the first Halo should be sufficiently pleased; whilst there's still not a massive range, each foe has such personality and variety in the look of their armour and the weapons they use that this now rivals, if not betters, other shooters like Half-Life in this respect. A big mention deserves to go to the animation of every enemy, which is so realistic and natural looking that it defies belief. The rag-doll physics are also simply wonderful; never has it been so much fun to repeatedly melee attack a grunt until you knock it over a ledge and watch it plummet into the gulf below!!

But of course graphically this is just the tip of the iceberg. The new locations simply defy belief and description. Admittedly, the first level on the Earth orbital station lacks impact a little, simply because it's full of so many greys and is functional in design (which is consistent with the Earth technology though, so that's okay). Even so, there are still a few big surprises and innovations that I've not seen in a game before. But once you get down to the Earth city, well it's a whole different story. And the next level, oh my word, it's amazing! I wish I could say more, but I can't. What I will say is that from the second level onwards I was playing the game with my jaw hanging open in astonishment almost the whole time. You know how awestruck you were the first time you stood on the cliff on Halo and looked out over the beautiful view, at the moving sea and the clouds and the way the sun shines through the trees and the way the grass looks totally real? Well multiply that by about a hundred and prepare to feel that way on almost every level. Those levels set in outdoor environments look so beautiful and intricately detailed that they make the first Halo pale in comparison. Similarly, the indoor environments have an even more impressive feeling of powerful, ancient technology and if you thought the way some of the doors opened in Halo was cool, well you are in for a real treat with the way things like that are animated.

In every respect, this game is a visual triumph, truly a feast for the eyes. The cut scenes are more cinematic and spectacular than ever and look wonderful with the new lighting effects and other texture effects fully used in the game engine. There is only one slight niggle with the graphics - it is clear that the game's engine works by using basic models overlaid with very sophisticated "skins" and textures, simply because every so often you see, just for a split second, the graphics building themselves. This doesn't happen that much (and when it does it's mostly in the cut scenes). Considering how simply breathtaking everything looks it really isn't a problem; you really get the impression they're pushing the Xbox to its limits.

One of the many wonderful things about Halo was that it was as sumptuous a feast for the ears as it was for the eyes. Every weapon sounded solid and realistic. Explosions pounded with bass and you could hear the dirt showering down around you after a grenade went off. Banshees shrieked overhead and the cries and gunfire of nearby battles could be clearly heard. The Warthog's engine roared and rumbled whilst the mounted machine gun pounded out endless bullets. The sound in Halo 2 is simply perfect - every noise, every effect, every weapon, every enemy, it's all full, realistic and distinctive. The voice acting is movie quality throughout, be it in the brilliantly scripted cinematic cut scenes, or the large amount of in-game dialogue, with Cortana giving you new info and advice, enemies taunting you and the marines, who are even more vocal and comical this time, with a huge repertoire of phrases for every situation and a lot more banter, plus plenty of compliments for when you kick the Covenant's raggedy alien asses all the way back into orbit!

A very special mention has to go to the frankly movie-quality soundtrack. The original Halo featured evocative, haunting music and a range of rousing themes that was very unusual, yet somehow perfectly complemented the gameplay. Halo 2 is even better, making use of a number of the themes from the first game and building new, imaginative variations around them, as well as providing a number of equally powerful and beautiful new melodies and tunes that enhance the atmosphere and game experience like no other soundtrack ever has. I was very much reminded of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (the film, not the game), in the sense that Howard Shore, the films' genius composer, used the first film's music as a foundation to build upon and expand. The music in Halo 2 really is that good and I will be purchasing the soundtrack CD as a matter of urgency.

Well, we're a long way into the review and I haven't even mentioned the weapons. They're better than ever and there are a lot of new additions. I won't spoil all of the surprises but there are two new human weapons that most of you have already seen - the battle rifle, a powerful gun that fires quick three round bursts and has a 2x zoom function, and the SMG, a rapid-firing sub machine gun. The assault rifle is gone (the two new ones filling that gap) and the pistol has been redesigned (sadly no zoom any more but still a great little gun) and the shotgun looks niftier too. The sniper rifle and rocket launcher remain very much the same, although the latter now has a lock-on function for vehicles and big mounted guns.

At the Covenant camp the three main weapons have also been upgraded and they look snazzier and fire faster than before. The plasma pistol is a lot better to use now and the plasma rifle fires so fast that it's insane. The needler is a lot deadlier this time, firing much more rapidly with shards that speed towards the enemy very quickly. The needler explosions look really cool and the plasma grenade explosion is one of the best effects of all, now with a lightning style energy crackle in its wake - the first time you see it you'll be very impressed. There are more than half a dozen new alien weapons to use and I'm not going to say any more, other than they are all outstanding additions to what has become a formidable range of weapons and those guns you were dying to get your hands on in the first game are now available - including, as is common knowledge, that truly lethal energy sword.

And did I mention dual wielding? One of Halo 2's best new features (and one that evolves the genre in the same way that Halo's approach did with carrying only two weapons and switching with anything you find) is that you can now hold certain smaller weapons in each hand. When you do this you can't switch to your other weapon without dropping one of the two in your hand and you can't throw grenades, which really adds to the strategic options available. Doubling up with SMGs or combining a magnum with a plasma rifle, or dual needlers for big pink explosions, it's a wonderful new feature and one that you'll need to master early on if you want to make good progress. A great tactic is also to empty both barrels of your weapons at the enemy then chuck the dual one away and follow up with a grenade or switch to your other weapon and let that rip too!

Coming onto the bigger guns and there is a good range of mounted guns to use, both on the human and Covenant sides. The range of vehicles has been expanded, with several variations of the Warthog all terrain vehicles available and new functions for the hovering Ghosts and flying Banshees - the Ghosts now have a turbo boost, which allows you to splatter your foes all over the ground and the Banshees, also with a turbo boost, can perform great aerial dodging manoeuvres at the touch of a button. The Scorpion tank fires its cannon much more rapidly now and you can actually get into the enemy Wraith tanks and turn them against their makers, a very satisfying experience. That's not the only new Covenant vehicle to pilot either…

Halo 2's single player adventure is the finest single player game I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing and, like the original (which I've now completed about 15 times across the Normal, Heroic and Legendary difficulties in a combination of the single and co-operative modes), I know it's one that I will play through again and again, simply for the sheer enjoyment of it. It's also one I greatly look forward to playing co-operatively with my brother and anyone else who I can get round my house to blow away with this unbelievably great game. The Heroic mode in Halo 2 is very tough - even Halo veterans will find themselves dying a lot on every level and Legendary is so insanely hard that it provides the greatest of challenges, yet not an impossible one. Halo 2 is also a massive game, much longer than the first with more levels, more variety in location and action, more choices on how to approach the combat and far huger levels - several of them took me two hours or more to complete!

However, Halo's enduring appeal comes from its sublime multiplayer mode and it is here that Halo 2's limitless lifespan lies. The multiplayer mode is quite simply gaming nirvana. It is paradise in video game form. There's a huge range of modes - regular and team deathmatch, capture the flag, territories (where you must hold certain locations for a length of time), bombing run and many more, with a number of variations and all fully customisable. With full and comprehensive Xbox Live support for up to 16 players, this is a game that is going to last and last and last on Live. There will be a strong following playing this until the Xbox is superseded by Xbox 2; of this you can be certain. As a case in point, since 9th November (those lucky Americans and Canadians got it two days earlier than us Brits!) every time I look at my Friends List, every friend on there is on Halo 2. I have only seen one friend on something else online since it came out!!

Having stayed up until five in the morning for a mammoth Halo 2 online session already, I can safely say that while I've only scratched the surface and will doubtless put in hundreds of hours online over the coming months, this is no question the best online game and best multiplayer game available on Xbox and arguably on any games machine, console or PC. Additionally, you can have up to four players playing split screen online on one Xbox, so you can go online with your friends in your own living room against people all around the world. My brother and I tried this out and it was utterly brilliant to be able to team up together or split up and co-ordinate our efforts. There are so many options, so many weapons and vehicles to master, so many game modes and it's all presented in such a user-friendly and simplified fashion that the potential is limitless. The only thing that is limited in fact is the number of multiplayer maps available.

That's the one thing I'm the tiniest bit disappointed about - I had hoped for a few more maps (there are just over a dozen). Having said this, each map is so well designed and so packed full of weapons, vehicles and all manner of buildings and cover that it'll be a long, long time before I get tired of playing on them, if I ever do (indeed, my brother and I played multiplayer Halo most days one-on-one right up until Halo 2's release and we never got sick of that!) I'm sure there will be more downloads to come on Xbox Live and if Bungie want a couple of quid for the new levels then I will pay out with a big smile on my face - they deserve to make a fortune from this, they've worked so hard and given it everything they've got and it has really paid off. The multiplayer mode is gaming at its purest - running around shooting people has never been so cerebral and you have so many options at your disposal; grab a sniper rifle, find a sneaky spot and start taking people out, charge in with double SMGs or a battle rifle, hop in the gunner seat of a Warthog while a team mate drives you around, fly a Banshee or pilot a Ghost, grab an energy sword to get up close and personal… the choice is always yours.

Halo 2 is quite simply an indescribably phenomenal gaming experience that redefines both the first person shooter genre and next generation gaming. The single player game is the most ambitious in scale and scope ever created, it's more like being a part of an interactive movie than playing a game and the beauty and creativity of every place you visit is astounding, down to the smallest detail. The sound effects and voice acting are as perfect as the graphics, the soundtrack rivals anything written by movie score writers like John "Star Wars" Williams and Howard "Lord of the Rings" Shore, whilst the story is intriguing and compelling, spurring you on to find out what happens next. Add in superb AI, a much fuller range of enemies to face and more weapons and vehicles with which to blow them away and you've got gaming perfection. And whilst the single player is as thrilling as they come, the multiplayer modes and full Xbox Live support are so outstanding that they will endure for as long as the life of the Xbox. When they said "Earth will never be the same" they weren't kidding. If you don't get Halo 2 then you are missing out on the best gaming experience that exists and if I was allowed to give it 11/10 on every count, I would.

Reviewed by Geoff Holland for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).