FaceBreaker. Never before has a title been so appropriate for a game in so many ways. Sure, you get to break some faces, punch some people and dance around a boxing ring, but truly, the only faces you'll want to break are your own and those of the developers at EA Canada and Team Fusion. Although this game was intended to be an accessible and comedic alternative to Fight Night, you definitely won't be laughing if you purchase it.

If I were to summarise FaceBreaker in just a few words, they would be a chain of expletives capable of destroying the innocence of children everywhere. They would be words that sufficiently highlighted just what a frustrating, annoying and badly designed game it really is - but alas, I can't swear in my reviews... and even if I could, I'd have to invent new words to describe the depths of my dissatisfaction with this "game".

At this point I should mention that rarely do I ever have any kind of strong reaction to games; when they're good I know it and I want to keep playing but I don't get majorly excited, and neither do I freak out if a game defeats me or I screw up and lose. But this game - this game - makes me want to go outside and break the faces of passers-by, because it's just that frustrating to play. Never before has a game got this far under my skin, because usually when I lose at a videogame, such as dying, failing an objective or being outscored, I simply shrug and think for a minute about a way to play better.

For example, when playing a game like Command & Conquer, the chances are good that you'll encounter a myriad of complicated and difficult levels, and inevitably you'll lose once or twice to the AI or your online rivals. Instead of getting mad and thrusting my fists into the air or trying to bite the analogue sticks off my controller, I have a think about my tactics and a way in which I can outsmart or outmanoeuvre my opponent next time. FaceBreaker, on the other hand, breaks this mould for all the wrong reasons. Instead of giving you the opportunity to outplay your opponent, it simply relies upon constant and unwavering button bashing to the point where your fingers are bleeding and your controller is worn out. Most of your time will be spent checking to see if your controller is working, because the game rarely seems to notice that you've held down the button for block, or pulled off the combination to parry your opponent's swings. Of course, while you're screaming at the television, questioning the universe about why the game isn't responding to your input, you're quickly being beaten to a bloody pulp in the corner of the ring with no feasible escape.

Not only are the controls unresponsive but they're unintuitive as well, such as being able to 'dash' from across the ring by flicking the left stick, which in practice makes less design sense than a toaster made of wax. It just doesn't work, like a lot of things in the game, such as the feature that allows you to upload your own face to be incessantly pummelled by your enemies. Every attempt to upload my own handsomely dashing face was met with epic failure due to an error where the picture could not be found, even though it was clearly visible on the screen in front of me and on the EA website. It's hard to understand how this game was released in such a fundamentally unplayable and unfinished state. Perhaps it's because it appears to be geared towards children and casual gamers who probably are supposed to find it easy to pick up and play; most of the environments in which you fight are quite childlike and cartoony, with one level set in a cave with dancing crabs all around the ring and another taking place in a haunted mansion with ghosts floating around. The fighters also suffer from this comic style, somewhat similar to Team Fortress 2, with huge heads and massive upper bodies giving way to tiny legs in most cases.

The graphics aren't too bad overall and the animations are okay for a game of this genre, but it feels like the developers didn't try very hard to make it a well rounded experience. The deterioration of you and opponents throughout the fights only appears once the rounds are finished, rather than occurring gradually as the fight progresses. Also, when the faces are broken, as is the only point of the game, they look completely absurd rather than as hilarious as the game suggests, so any feeling of success is quickly drowned away with the reminder you're playing a game that seems like it's aimed squarely at kids. Whilst some may see this as simply the style the game was going for it, it seems to me that EA has simply tacked together a bunch of ridiculous scenarios and renders instead of creating something more stylish and less derivative.

Another area they forgot to spend much time on was sound, with the effects limited to groans and moans as your fighter beats and gets beaten in the heat of battle. All the thwacks of fists contacting with eyes and noses also sound alike, with no variation whatsoever. EA did however keep their patented pop-culture soundtrack player in the game, with songs that will please plenty of teenagers but very few others. But no worry, these tunes will undoubtedly cower unheard in the background whilst you scream and shout your way through the modes and start slipping the slope towards depression for having purchased such a game.

Whilst beating themselves up in real life for having wasted money on FaceBreaker, I can imagine that anyone who purchases this game would immediately consider discarding it into their personal trade-in stack. This is for plenty of reasons, even ignoring the problems already listed. For example, there is no real Career mode in the game, other than progressing through different levels to unlock different bonuses. Sure, you go through different belt classes in the Brawl For It All Mode, but they're not different from each other, with no learning curve or rising difficulty levels. It simply has pinches of hard and easy opponents throughout, where some of the hardest enemies are found at the start of the ladder and it seems that the higher you go, the less challenging it becomes. Of course, you will still have to overcome the extreme challenge of the game mechanics, what with it ignoring every ham-fisted anger-fuelled bash of the buttons, then again this is something that is outwardly stated as necessary during one of the loading screens. It is for these reasons that longevity for this game is rock bottom; no-one wants to play a game where the only real challenge is that it ignores what you're telling it to do.

Multiplayer will not quench your thirst for destroying faces either, because during online play it is simply a question of whoever has the strongest unique powers. Yes, this boxing game has super powers, so characters such as Voodoo can fire a projectile that stuns you, allowing him to smash your face in, as does a rocket-firing robot later in the Brawl mode who can take half your health by sending a guided missile across the ring. This redundant idea runs rampant both in single and multiplayer modes and as such annoys to the point that your Xbox may find itself on a short flight from a second story window. But I digress.

FaceBreaker is probably one of the worst games I've ever had the misfortune to play; childlike not only in style but also in design, it definitely isn't worth full price. Even though EA has thoughtfully reduced the price tag, you're better off spending your money on Fight Night, an excellent and engrossing boxing game that's a world away from this. Or, if you like games that look like they're made for kids, then buy Wall-E instead - it's also pretty bad, but at least you'll have some fun playing it, that and no-one could ever get mad at that cute little robot.

Reviewed by Andy Howells for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).