You're looking for another type of relationship and have stepped into the more carnal, desire-fulfilling side of the gaming world. You've grown tired of playing happy families with Miss DS and you need some extra excitement in your life. I don't blame you either. You need a sense of thrill, of living life on the edge and pushing the right buttons with something new, sexy and tantalising. You crave it. It's not that the DS didn't do it for you, in fact she gave you a great time - but you're here seeking a bit more, hoping to satisfy certain gaming desires that you were just too embarrassed to ask the DS to perform - you simply didn't think she could cope.
"All the other beauties are busy with their clients sir, but the PSP always has a free slot for you. You'll find her in Room 10, just down the hall."

I approached the door, my heart beating twice as fast as it was a moment ago, adrenaline pumping through my veins, as I walk inside Room 10. PSP was waiting for me, with a warm, almost knowing smile.
"What's your name, honey?" she asked, with a voice like liquid silk.
Stuttering, I replied, "Dexter."
"And what can I do for you, Dexter?"
Almost too embarrassed to ask, I blurted it out before I lost my bottle. "Well, I want you to play music, play videos, surf the Internet and play games, all in the same night!"
She looked at me with a playful gleam in her eye, more beautiful than ever - and really shiny too.
"Asking me to play music, games and videos, with some Internet surfing as well, is nothing to be embarrassed about," she reassured me, in a soft, comforting tone. "Just because other handhelds can't do all these things doesn't mean we're all like that!"
Relieved that the PSP could accommodate my many needs, I felt totally comfortable and settled in for a long and very satisfying night. Suffice to say, I've been back to Room 10 every night since and I've enjoyed every last minute of my secret affair.

In fact, that night - or that early morning if you want to be precise, was a memorable one. I queued up with all the other soon to be owners of UK PSPs, some having pre-ordered, others hoping to get hold of one without. And while those in front of me who never put their name down were turned away, it was soon to be my turn to part with my hard earned cash. Five minutes later and I was holding a white bag with a PSP value pack and Wipeout Pure, probably the best racing game I've played since the first Wipeout. Here in the UK we only have one option. Value pack or nothing. Not that this is a bad thing, because I was pleasantly surprised at the high quality contents my box contained. A sexy, tight fitting slip sleeve case, a pair of Sony Ear Bud headphones with a remote control, a wrist strap, a cloth that magically removes finger marks and a 32MB memory card, as well as the system itself, along with everything else you need to get it working.

When you open the box you are greeted with an important message that tells you to insert the provided UMD, which contains trailers of PSP games, films and a couple of music videos, along with a version 2.0 update. Stop right there! The UK PSP comes loaded with the 1.52 firmware, which, with the power of the Internet can be downgraded to version 1.5 - and this version allows you to homebrew software and emulators. This means you can really mess around with your PSP and stick all your old favourite NES games on, providing you own the originals of course! But then version 2.0, which I upgraded to, grants your PSP a web browser, along with other fixes that aren't worth mentioning here. To me, the browser is indispensable - image catching the train to London, tapping into the train's wireless broadband and checking your emails and eBay auctions. As far as I know, you can't downgrade from 2.0 to 1.5 - so users are in for some decision-making, but for me personally, that decision was easy.

So it's beautiful. Critics would probably argue that it's all screen and hey, who am I to disagree? It is all screen and I'm really thankful for that. That means when I come to play Wipeout Pure I can look down at the screen and feel totally engrossed in the game. The only drawback with a large screen is that it's prone to marks and scratches. But as long as you take good care of it and put it back in its sexy sleeve after use, when you come to pull it out it will look as shiny as it did when you first laid eyes on it. You simply have to see the PSP to appreciate it though. To understand the build quality, to welcome the whole layout of the buttons, to be glad about the UMD loading tray and to really rejoice at the fact that it'll do everything for you.

I've really given my PSP a hammering, loaded a lot of compressed MP3's onto my memory stick, watched a UMD film and played that futuristic racer to death. To my surprise, the battery lasts a long time. You can probably remember those nasty rumours from Nintendo fan-boys when the PSP was released in Japan. "With all the load times and the fact that there's a laser that has to work to play the game, you'll be lucky to get two hours play out of the PSP system." That's complete and utter bull. I managed to get six eventful hours out of my PSP when multi-tasking; playing games, listening to music, browsing the web and watching films - and this was with the volume and screen brightness on maximum. Playing games non-stop with everything on maximum seemed to shorten the life by an hour, leaving me with five hours of enjoyment, which can be spread out nicely over a long aeroplane trip to the US of A.

Watching films is not something I really purchased a PSP for, I was edging towards the games console with some MP3 margin. But after watching the sick and twisted Oldboy and a trailer of Spider-Man 2, I will be watching more UMD Movies as soon as I can. Because the screen is smaller than your average portable DVD player, you can expect the picture to be a hell of a lot sharper. So sharp in fact, that you can almost touch the action - not advised however, because then you'll get a nasty thumb mark on the screen! The PSP speakers are really good for playing games and offering you medium quality sound for movies, but if you're going to be watching films a lot then it's probably best to pack headphones so you can really get the loud sound, which is sometimes what makes a film great. Read: War of the Worlds!

Playing a UMD movie on your PSP is pretty simple; you stick in the movie disc and it plays just like a DVD. Various buttons on the PSP do different things - you can pause the UMD when you need (although if you're going to the loo or making a cup of tea, you can take it with you!), you can fast forward or rewind back at various speeds and you can bring up a transparent menu that grants you access to picture size, subtitles and audio boots, effectively doubling the sound output of the PSP. Lots of people said before the PSP was released that UMD movies were a waste of time but I have to disagree strongly here. You might think that the PSP screen is too small to give you that cinematic experience but that's simply not the case. When you're looking directly at the PSP screen, your surroundings don't really matter. Your eyes are fixed on a beautifully clear film, your ears are busy with stereo from the headphones and all of a sudden, your PSP becomes your very own portable cinema.

So, would I buy a UMD over a DVD? In short, yes I would - but there has to be some stipulations. I probably wouldn't buy a UMD I already own on DVD, unless it's a film I really want to watch on a long train or plane journey, or the UMD extras are simply too good to pass on - and judging by the UMDs I have looked at thus far, extras seem to be a missing ingredient. However, films that you haven't seen or films that you want to see whenever you want, wherever you are, well, a UMD is perfect. Almost too perfect for people who like videos of a certain nature, I might add! I can see UMDs containing extras that the PSP will benefit over soon enough. Maybe the film's OST or a demo of the game tie-in, like a Spider-Man 2 game demo on the Spider-Man 2 UMD. Even things like wallpapers or downloadable themes could be a possibility and could really give PSP owners a proper incentive to buy a UMD they already own on DVD.

Holding the PSP to play games or watch movies is a real joy - providing you don't doubt your stability. If you think you're a clumsy person, then holding a PSP might worry you slightly. Such an expensive, good-looking piece of kit sits in your hands - one wrong move and there's more than just a controller's life at stake; the whole console is there. It's a good job Ninja Gaiden will never come out for the PSP then! However, I decided it would be a bright idea to put my hand through the supplied wrist strap and hold the PSP nice and tightly.

Playing games leaves you with a lot of choices. For a start, you can use the analogue stick over the d-pad. Of course, the analogue stick takes some getting used to - it's not as fluid as its counterpart on the bigger consoles, but that doesn't man it can't be put to good use in games like Wipeout. In fact, I like to quickly change between d-pad and analogue stick for those corners that need a smoother turn. One thing's for sure though - it's more user friendly that the DS's attempt at analogue control, with the thumb strap. Or the strap-on, as I used to call it back in the day! You might have to hold the PSP differently for different games to fully make use of the shoulder buttons, which are easy to press providing you're not reclined in a comfy chair! If you envision a PS2 controller with a few clever changes, take out the vibrating function and then add a beautiful screen and you have what a PSP feels like. It's simply a pleasure to both hold and play!

Now we come to something that some of you might be concerned about - dead pixels. I've got five or six of them. But before we start running around the room screaming and shouting, let me explain what a dead pixel is. It's a tiny pixel dot (and there are millions of pixels on the screen, so sometimes finding a dead pixel can be like finding a needle in a haystack) that either constantly remains on, like a red dot, or one that only appears behind a certain colour. Thankfully, like most people, I got the latter. I can see the odd white, pin-sized dot behind black textures and they can only be noticed if you've got the PSP dangerously close to your eyes, or if you're actually looking at where the dead pixel is and not looking at the game. If you receive a PSP with seven dead pixels then you're entitled to an exchange, because seven is the magic faulty number. Chances are, the good majority will have a few dead pixels but they aren't much to worry about and while I could probably complain to my retailer, I love my PSP too much to be put on a two-week waiting list for the next batch.

Can you afford a bigger stick? A bigger memory stick that is, 512MB or 1GB? Well, if you can, your PSP suddenly becomes so much more. For a start, you can expect to get a movie or two on your memory stick, which effectively throws my DVD and UMD argument out the window, because you can rip the DVD and load it onto your memory card! Bigger sticks also mean more room for MP3s, which is something people should consider using the PSP for - you can fit a lot of MP3s in compressed Sony formats onto the bigger memory sticks and they sound perfect. In addition, your card is also open to more expansion packs that you can download, as well as homebrew software to experiment with. All of this can be done via a USB cable or a Memory Stick card reader. You can even rip saved games off your memory stick and share them with people over the Internet! I would recommend a bigger stick as one of your first purchases, if you plan to do more than just play the odd game and intend to make use of the PSP's myriad features.

UMD discs, if you didn't know, are as small, if not smaller than Gamecube discs. These discs are encased inside a plastic enclosure, with a chunk of plastic missing on the date side where the laser reads though. The plastic encased disc slots easily into the pop out slot drawer on the reverse side of the PSP and when you come to eject the UMD disc, you pull the pop out slot drawer trigger and watch the UMD spring up like a slice of cooked toast from the toaster. It's difficult to explain, but everything works really well - although it is a bit frightening to see the loading drawer pop out and the disc pop up in a split second! POP! You can even share some of your games and play a limited few levels of multiplayer, if only one person owns the game, similar to some DS titles.

The advantages of having a disc over a cartridge are immense. Apart from sapping the battery a little more than a cartridge does and aside from the fact that you cannot save onto a disc so you need a memory card, things like full motion video and smoother graphics come from the marvellous, perfectly round invention. As games come out, people will start to understand why the disc is the best way to go. I'm not knocking cartridges, there's a lot to be said for them - no loading times for a start. But there is no way you'd be able to stick a game like GTA: Liberty City Stories on a cartridge. Not with all the data, all the music and sound and all the cut scenes with gangsters swearing at each other. Boy am I looking forward to that one!

You know, it's nice to be envied for once. It's nice to have something that lots of other people want. In the last couple of days, I've shown the PSP to lots of family friends - the same family friends that laughed at the DS - and these family friends are over forty and I'll probably get shot for saying that too. One of them is now on a quest to buy a PSP because he was so impressed with the features on offer and he had a pleasant flashback from the PSOne era, when he used to play Wipeout for hours on end. The other one has no interest in games but still wants one for the look, the portable UMD player and to be able to surf the Internet at Wi-Fi hotspots. The last person to be impressed with my new toy is my dad, not a day over thirty (!), who again, is pleasantly reminded of games like Wipeout - and thinks that downloadable content for Wipeout and other future games is a real selling point. It goes to show that the PSP will appeal to gamers and non-gamers alike, whereas the DS is aimed at the hardcore and the kids. That's not a bad thing, but I'm just stating that the PSP's target audience is huge. It's not just competing with Nintendo - it's going after Apple, portable DVD player manufacturers and makers of PDA devices too.

Not only is the PSP a lovely machine to look at, with its sleek black workmanship, but the graphics are superb and even that's an understatement. For a handheld, this is going to be as good as it gets for a while. I'd say that graphics are on par with early PS2 games. On a small, high-quality screen with maximum brightness, it really helps the graphics look even better. Just like you'd expect really - because if you're playing a low quality video on media player, it looks a lot better if you size the window down than it does if you make the video bigger, because it becomes quite pixelated if you do that. I can already see the tech-heads nodding along with that statement! Trust me, buy Wipeout with your PSP and you'll not only be blown away with the cracking dance tracks and the immensely enjoyable gameplay, but the graphics will leave your jaw with a distinct ache.

Alongside the amazing graphics is sound that is more than loud enough for games, offering you perfect stereo, so you can hear every bump to your futuristic jet or every board grind when playing Tony Hawk's Underground Remix, to the highest of standards. Built in sound like the start up logo, typing for when using the PSP keyboard (set up similar to how you type on a mobile phone) and little bleeps and clicks for menu selections add another level of professionalism to this already very professional looking handheld.

I didn't meet my PSP in Room 10 for no reason; she really is the perfect ten, the one I've been looking for since I first got into the GBA. She'll make sure you have a great time whatever you want to do. Load on comic books in jpeg format and read them on the go, enjoy millions of websites wirelessly, listen to your music collection with a big memory card, watch videos that you've loaded onto your card or bought on UMD and, of course, play a range of graphically rich games from developers around the globe, as well as international online play with games like Twisted Metal. While touching that second screen was a novel idea, I'll simply enjoy looking at my PSP, dressed in her sexy black outfit, whilst her array of features really do reach out and grab me. After all, it's nice to touch, but it's even better to be touched back!

Reviewed by Dexter Pearson for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).