You could plough through the grey matter in search of answers for as long as you like, but many things on this perplexing planet will continue to baffle humanity for eternity - the Congestion Charge, the resurrection of Peter Andre, Uwe Boll movies, Rumble Roses, algebra, Peter Andre fans (I'm looking at you Chris Moyles...), Paris Hilton's gawd-awful pop career, and, well, Peter Andre in general really. But the most perplexing of them all? Without a shadow of a doubt, Metal Gear Acid - Snake's super-stealthy turn-based strategy title for the PSP.

Gamers just didn't get it. Cast your mind back to last September and you might've spotted, alongside the launch of Sony's prepossessing portable, Metal Gear Acid sneaking its way into stores, cigarette in mouth, pressing itself up against the shelves, trying desperately to camouflage its strategic wares alongside its older and more traditional brothers. Fans gawped and drooled at the very prospect of messing around with their favourite Lycra-clad hero on the bog rather than the myriad of chavvy street racers so hell bent on clogging up release schedules. Dashing to the nearest store (hopefully after washing their hands), with radiant, metaphorical exclamation marks looming above their skulls, those exclamation marks soon turned to metaphorical question marks upon the realisation of Snake's new-found strategic elements, and fans left the store in a solemn waddle, mumbling "Hmm, must've been nothing..."

And with just cause too. Surely the geeky, chin-stroking world of turn-based strategy couldn't rival the sheer ambiance of lurking around in a cardboard box, waiting to pounce on the odd ill-fated foe, right? Bzzzzzt! That's the wrong answer, but thanks for playing! Metal Gear Acid was in fact, bar a few niggles, absolutely awesome - a game with all the character, quirky narrative style and cardboard-box-lurking antics of Snake's previous outings - only it played a trifle slower, with more emphasis on tactics and, indeed, chin-stroking (No! Wait! Don' t go!) Fast forward to 2006, a time where Big Brother celebs flourish and chavs reign supreme, and it's time for Konami to hit back hard with a sequel that smacks you between the eyes, robbing your wallet in the process. Meet Metal Gear Acid 2, boasting more of everything that made its predecessor so darn fab, while improving on those nasty niggles.

Don't fret though, this is Metal Gear through and through. In fact, Metal Gear Acid 2 will etch a big, fat, stupid grin onto the face of any Metal Gear Solid fan by way of subtle references - codecs bleep accordingly, triggering alarms will set your heart racing and Snake's mullet is as camp as ever. Although the card-based mechanics shake up the traditional method of control and overall pacing, you'll be delighted to hear that Acid plays much the same as its console brothers - so you'll still be disposing of heinous terrorists and the series' revered boss-freaks by way of stealth. Phew! Hell, there's a whole mode dedicated to boss scrapping, similar to MGS2's Boss Survival mode, called Arena, where you can step up against the likes of Vamp and Liquid! Hurrah!

In terms of narrative, Metal Gear Acid 2's exposition is nothing short of classic Metal Gear. Lengthy codec conversations? Check. Chesty chicks? Check. Lovable characters? Double check! Metal Gear Acid 2 fires away with a typically convoluted story right from the off. The first sentence? "It looks like....with.... your.... is...." uttered by a simpleton going by the name of '???'. What the?! Hello?! That's not a sentence! Okay, so despite the odd blip in the localisation department, the narrative development is particularly engrossing, despite the absence of the series' much loved stellar voice acting. Turns out Snake's come down with a spot of amnesia after a somewhat murderous mission. Thing is, having returned home to suspected safety, Snake's then arrested by the rather dishonourable Dalton, who forces Snake to carry out a series of missions for the FBI, in return ensuring the safety of Snake's kidnapped friends and the acquisition of those much desired memories.

"That's all very nice, but how does Metal Gear work with cards?!" I hear you enquire, still flummoxed at Kojima Production's rather unorthodox direction. "I want to hang precariously from railings and catch guards unaware!" Simmer, dear reader! You can still revel in all of these treasured brutal affairs, except now you'll have to adapt your playing style to match the hand of cards dealt to you during each turn - and lo and behold, it's time to explain the rather dull complex-technical-bit™...

You start with a big fat deck of cards, which you can collect throughout the course of the game (but don't expect to complete that collection anytime soon, not with a pocket-bursting 500 cards in total, that's for sure!). These cards are called upon to carry out a plethora of actions on the map grid, like moving, firing, sneaking and ration-gobbling when at death's door. There are, however, more specific cards, such as link cards (which trigger automatically when a specific scenario takes place) and of course, character cards. Oh yes! Character cards! How could I forget?! You'll love 'em! Take, for instance, the Cyborg Ninja card, which when activated slices any nearby guards into sushi-esque chunks! And who could forget The Fury's card, allowing you to char grill opponents with a scorching flamethrower in a nod to Metal Gear Solid 3?! Nice.

But there's more. Think you can pull these moves off willy-nilly? Then think again. Snake's actions are limited to a certain extent due to each character being confined to a certain number of actions per turn, so you'll have to think wisely (possibly with a little chin-stroking...) as how to use Snake effectively, often thinking of your opponent's next move, so as not to plonk Snake in potentially hazardous areas. Then there's the small matter of cost to contemplate, which governs how long you'll be waiting for your next turn. Let's say you've used one of those character cards. They're mighty powerful and hence have a large value. Know what that means? You guessed it; you'll have to wait for that garnered cost to decrease before you can deal death once more. Lummy. But then that's the big draw; you have to use cards wisely, considering the complexities and complications before you go steaming in gung-ho.

Eventually you're awarded with a snazzy new menu - the deck editor. Yay! Here you can customise your cards, reducing their costs while increasing weapon effectiveness and accuracy. Awesome! Now you can play like a pro, hand picking the deck you're taking into battle. Over the course of the story mode, you can also increase your deck size from 30 to 40 cards and beyond - feel like equipping Snake with enough weaponry to comfortably classify as the next Metal Gear? Go ahead. Feel like playing it safe, packing Snake's pockets with silenced shooters, chaff grenades and, naturally, cardboard boxes? Go for it! It's all about making your choice and playing accordingly.

This non-linear approach extends into Metal Gear Acid 2's story mode with considerable splendour, and while the tasks may at first seem rather linear, often having to reach designated checkpoints, the way in which you do so rests entirely in your hands, thanks to some smashing level design, which nudges you to explore for the safest route, hidden cards and spawns the incentive for replayability once you've hiked though the rather lengthy fifteen hour story mode.

But then in hindsight, those ingenious map designs weren't really built with just one character in mind. Nope. How would you like another stealthy spy at your disposal? You would? Great! Meet Venus, a sassy blonde-haired stunner with enough weaponry to scare the bejesus out of the entire US army by her lonesome. And would you believe it? Venus is also searching for her past! By golly! The implementation is flawless and enables you to methodically tiptoe through the missions collaboratively in style. But wait! "Surely this means I can play alongside a friend over the magic of Wi-Fi, right?" Well, no, actually... which I feel is a sorely missed opportunity, although you are able to play alongside a friend within the aforementioned Arena mode.

The locations within Metal Gear Acid 2 will be instantly recognisable to anyone who rummaged around for their CD cases in search of Meyrl's codec frequency waaaay back in '98 - and just as nostalgic too. Dingy warehouses, military complexes and abandoned research labs are but a few of the memorable locations for you to gawp at the screen in utter 'Ohmygodwouldyoubeliveit?!' joy. But for those gamers who did find the sense to snap up Metal Gear Acid 2's forerunner, you'll know that it was crippled with visual problems, with drunken cameramen stumbling along the playing field trying with all their might to keep up with the action, but failing miserably. Thankfully, you needn't worry here, as Metal Gear Acid 2's camera has been given an gorgeous overhaul and you can now search the complex for perilous sentry guns with full 360 degrees of analogue controlled splendour. Result!

Another gruesome gripe? Well, those dingy complexes were mighty difficult to discern on the PSP's dinky screen, with snake merging into the gloomy-grey scenery a little too well. You just couldn't see what on God's green Earth was going on! Oh yay! I've spotted some ammo! Bang! Dead. It was a mine. Wahey! A new cardboard box! Bang! Dead. You get the picture. If only there were a way to make things just that tad brighter. And well, there is - cel shading. Metal Gear Acid 2's full of it and it works incredibly well, miraculously managing to echo the artistic style of its predecessors without giving you a headache and sore eyes.

Hell no, this time around it's the Solid Eye attachment that has you rubbing your watering eyes like that little kid in the Sainsburys queue who's been refused that pack of Haribo. It's mind-erodingly painful and unpractical at worst, and a gimmick at very best. The cardboard slip-over-your-PSP-screen contraption is, supposedly, meant to enhance your viewing experience, allowing you to sample Metal Gear Acid 2's cel-shaded glory in gobsmackingly gorgeous 3D. And it does - for about ten minutes, before you begin to feel your eyes close up and fry in close proximity to the PSP's scorching backburner. Ouch. But on the whole, Metal Gear Acid 2 looks absolutely awesome. Go on, just look at it, you know you want to. Mmm.

Although condensed into portable form, Kojima Productions' immense production values, characterisation and narrative style has been carried across flawlessly. Kojima Productions has a respected heritage for smashing down the boundaries and setting new standards for innovation. Metal Gear Acid 2, unfortunately, doesn't do this, but merely digs up the past and improve the already rather tasty recipe marginally. In short, Metal Gear Acid 2 doesn't really do anything that its predecessor hadn't already devised. This is in no way detrimental though - on the contrary, Kojima's latest is indeed worthy of your hard-earned coin. Those already versed in the ways of Acid may be in for a minor disappointment, what with the lack of anything strikingly different to spark those hovering exclamation marks - but for everyone else, this is indeed a solid game with all the charm of Metal Gear. [Oh no, Geoff Holland's horrific word play puns seem to be contagious. God help us all!! Ed].

Reviewed by Ricky Lee Staines for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).