Women are great, aren't they? With all those wobbly bits and curvy lines you just can't help but look when a nice one walks by. They're even better when you find one that suits you and you get to fumble around and make happy noises together. In fact, there aren't that many of us out there who feel complete without someone to share our lives with and marriage, despite the high rate of divorce, can be one of the most glorious moments in life. With the mutual support, shared memories and unconditional love that a relationship gives you, couples become more than the sum of their parts and enrich each others' lives to a level unattainable by singles. You would have thought that nothing could shatter the age-old concept of the relationship, wouldn't you? Well you'd be wrong, as Zipper Interactive, with a little help from Logitech, have produced something infinitely more enlightening than the union of man and woman: online play with SOCOM: US Navy Seals.

I have to admit that for the last week or so, my life companion has very much been on the back burner, so much so in fact that the poor lady has almost boiled away to nothing. Even she realises the futility of her battle for attention, as not content with simple online play, SOCOM gives you a natty little headset with which to spread your witty repartee and dazzling sense of humour all over the world; something that in my case should make the female sex afraid…very afraid.

Opening with some fairly bog-standard FMV, SOCOM puts you in the boots of one of the world's deadliest fighting forces as they go up against various terrorist movements intent on bringing down the western world. Very much in the vein of a Tom Clancy title, most of the gameplay is stealth based and requires the completion of multiple objectives in order to complete the level. All the usual fare is present, from extractions to escorts to demolition missions and it's all done very well, involving more brainpower than your average squad based shooter.

In the single player mode you are given twelve levels, each taking upwards of 30 minutes to do; that isn't an awful lot of mission for your money but with eight difficulty settings and different layouts to select, there is a respectable amount of replayability and, to get really proficient, playing through at least two or three times is a must. Apart from this and the heavenly online mode (which I'll come to later), no other options are given and for those of you who aren't intending to go hook up to the net with your gaming, the choice is pretty limited.

Initially seen from a third person perspective, SOCOM allows you to change view to suit the moment and gives you the option of first person, sniper, night vision and binoculars, depending on the weapon you're currently equipped with. One of the nicest surprises about this game is the intuitiveness and common sense of the command system. The range of perspectives available to you, along with the easy to use controls make this an incredibly immersive title and one with few of the niggling irritations that plague even the highest quality shooters. There is never any scrabbling around for the right weapon or accidentally dropping all your armaments; pretty much every button has a use and although there are only a few control setups with no leeway for customisation, death never comes as a result of poor controller manipulation.

You're unlikely to find any surprises on the audio or visual fronts, as the graphics and sound are nothing more than what you would normally expect from a squad based shooter. Your team mates have appropriately gruff voices and an effort has been made to give them some personality. All the other voice acting is convincing enough and the death throws and gurgles of your enemies serve to reinforce the realism, making for some very satisfying moments. The gunfire is again adequate and varies from weapon to weapon. Little else can be said about the sounds; the music is not of the quality of Ghost Recon, but is of a similar style: triumphant and soulful. Graphically it's the same story; there's nothing worthy of either positive or negative note. The draw distance does the job, the animation is fluid and realistic, the palette adds nicely to the mood and the frame rate never dips to unacceptable levels. From a technical point of view, you can't fault it - it's a little dull but nonetheless generally pleasing to the eye.

Jungles feature heavily in the level design, making up around half of the missions and can become tiresome after a while. Other backdrops include snowy mountain strongholds, desert encampments, oilrigs and temple ruins. For the most part each level feels unique, if a little sparse and allows you to choose your own path. The in game map is handy, straightforward and has upwards of half a dozen checkpoints to send your team to. As well as using these checkpoints to direct your men, the unexpectedly idiot-proof headset lets you issue voice commands such as "Bravo, run to crosshairs," or "Team, bang and clear," and occasionally support is given by a chopper that can be used to extract hostages or sweep an area.

Not many of you, however, are likely to buy SOCOM for the single player aspect and this, the first of many PS2 online shooters, was always destined for online play. Having familiarised yourself with the controls in the offline mode, using your adapter to hook up to the net means that you can take mix it up with up to 15 other players and play your part in a game of virtual worldwide terrorism and counter terrorism. Although it's a no-frills affair and lacks some of the things that PC online gamers take for granted, SOCOM (get ready for the clichés) takes gaming on the PS2 to a whole other level and strides confidently towards the future with open arms.

In contrast to the more stealthy flavour of the single player mode, the sixteen-player skirmishes have a stronger action tang to them and may not be exactly what you are expecting from all the hype. The beauty of it though is that when you find a likeminded bunch of individuals and get to know a few people, preserving your life and not running around like an over sugared, water-pistol toting kid at a birthday party actually pays off and you start sailing up the online rankings. Once you know what you like, be it small groups and large maps that last, or high intensity bloodbaths that end in seconds, you can find it in the briefing room. A quick trawl around the games gives you a good idea of how well you'd fit into a particular style or competency level and a vast majority of the players that I've spoken to over that great little headset were tremendously nice chaps.

All this does have it's downside, in that every now and again a real idiot pops up and makes life unpleasant for everyone else. I hate to sound like a whinging willy but it's an unbelievable pain in the arse when some nonce starts having a go at all and sundry for no apparent reason. There's no blocking function either, so your choices are limited to turning off the headset or putting up with the simpleton. Another prominent problem is the load time between the lobby and games which, although not being agonising, does make you reluctant to change skirmishes sometimes. My final quibble lies with the lack of options when it comes to maps and play options; you're limited to only three match types: suppression, demolition and extraction. This isn't such a huge problem, as the variety of players more than makes up for it but I sense that some gamers are getting a little jaded already.

SOCOM is most definitely pointing in the right direction in terms of what we should expect from games. For a reasonable price you get the headset, which in itself is a corking peripheral, and a high quality game with very few glitches. Add to that the online function and a reasonable single player title and you can't really go wrong. What sets this apart from everything else, however, is the ability to chat to your squad-mates on the headset. Okay, some people may be a little apprehensive about it and rarely open their mouths, but once you start up others join in and before long the conversation is bounding along at a wonderful pace. Things like customisable characters and controller configurations would have been nice, along with some more interesting play modes and maps but this is a very good start from Sony and Zipper Interactive.

In essence, SOCOM: US Navy Seals marks a point in history where the number of long-term relationships begin to decline and birth rates plummet; sitting down for a conversation with your girlfriend or wife simply doesn't compare. It's an experience not to be missed, and if it's at the expense of your marriage or partnership, then so be it.

Reviewed by Tom LeClerc for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).