At the sprightly age of sixteen this reviewer had but one important decision to make. Was he to abandon the cosy quietude of his hometown to live out his childhood fantasy of masculine, gun-toting, ripped-shirt, sweaty action? (And for those of you conjuring up a rather disturbing mental image there, you have filthy minds indeed! Drop down and give me twenty!). Or was he to lead an ordinary life, consisting of saucy secretaries, deadlines, and weekends filled with pot noodles and cheesy home-run movies - most likely involving American children with lousy fathers missing baseball games? Well, the former sounded like musical gunfire to my ears (seriously, you're disgusting!). I wanted to 'be the best'. To 'move forward as one'. To not get sued for the copyright infringement of the previous statements. In short, I wanted to join the Army... However, being the scrawny, pasty dude that I am, you have to face up to the facts. And while rummaging around in leafy green shrubs might sound like immense fun - waiting with bated breath, index finger tightly hugging the rifle's trigger - heck, there may be spiders lurking around! Exactly. Thankfully, the good guys and gals at Zipper Interactive have upped their military game to suit our desires, firing many a new addition into the already-commanding squad-based shooter, in turn creating the most visceral skirmish simulator to ever bomb its way onto the PlayStation2.

Already clocking up enough players since the original's 2002 debut to send the World Wide Web (those bloomin' arachnid freaks get everywhere!) into a state of disarray with its unique online prowess and exquisite map design, it's safe to say that SOCOM, like a certain other war game on the market (I'm looking at you, Battlefield...), garnered its super-stardom by flaunting its mind-blowing online play, rather than its lacklustre approach to the engrossing campaign that it so rightfully deserved. So, with Zipper boasting monumental strides in terms of online functionality - like 32 player bouts and more new modes than you can shake an AK at - along with a worthy single player campaign for those not fortunate enough to have made a leap into the complicated country of online play, SOCOM 3: US Navy SEALs doesn't so much hold a candle to its predecessors as flamethrower them into the nearest bargain bin!

As with its predecessors, you won't be left to venture the three (yes, that's three!) single player campaigns alone, which is actually something of a double edged sword, but more on that issue later. The three campaigns, spanning twelve tantalising missions, see your group of inexorable Navy SEALs wreaking havoc throughout each of the gorgeously rendered locales, these being North Africa, South Asia and Poland. To help keep things feeling fresh, SOCOM 3 unfolds at a beautiful pace, spewing out scenario after scenario that'll encourage you to alter your tactics within a blink of an eyelid. From scouting out hostages and gathering critical Intel to annihilating consecutive waves of terrorists, with genocides often topping the double figure mark - much to your wide-eyed delight! - SOCOM 3 is as varied as a twenty pence pick and mix. But the variety doesn't stop there; SOCOM 3's environments are havens of tactical possibility, often dishing out confined cavernous sections requiring both a steady aim and nerves of steel as you ready yourself for close-range combat. Other sections, however, such as the vegetative aesthetics of South Asia, present an ominous veil from which the enemies strike, and you'll have to survey the area methodically in order to move on with limbs intact.

You'll also have noticed that each of the playing fields are indisputably colossal in scope, unlike SOCOM 2's tendency to force you along linear and unimpressive stretches. SOCOM 3's graphical grunt conquers all and sundry with its dazzling particle effects and delicious dynamic lighting. Murky water ripples with unprecedented realism, South Asia's sand obscures the air when the action is heavy and the scorching tropics are brought to life with an according heat haze. Okay, so there's the odd patchy texture here and there, with some character models appearing more than a little rough around the edges, but what SOCOM 3 loses in fidelity of texture it makes up for in sheer scale. This is irrefutably a tremendous technical achievement and one that makes the experience all the more sweet. Well, as sweet as gunning down heinous terrorist organisations can be, anyway! [Oh, that can be pretty damn sweet! Ed].

While this sweeping level design alleviates any prior quandaries as to SOCOM 3 being similarly linear, the game's expansive terrains could have run the risk of bewildering the player. Luckily, helpful waypoints have been implemented to guide you to your next destination without hesitation, so all that's left to do is sit back and enjoy the explosive ride. Speaking of rides, these mammoth areas not only serve to loosen your jaw with their awe-inspiring beauty, but also to account for the many stalwart vehicles that take your fancy along the course of the mission. That's right, machine-gun-holstering buggies, juggernauts and gunboats are but a select few of the vehicles littered throughout the levels, with their inclusion not only allowing for the hasty transportation of lethargic SEALs, but for added firepower too. Out of ammo? Why not mow down the opposition and feel the almighty 'thwack' when you connect with their flesh? Okay, so it's fairly gory, but hey, it's as mouthwateringly moreish as Malteasers, and you won't tire of it any time soon.

So now, let's return to that double edged sword - the AI. Forget any preconceptions of the abbreviation, for it now refers to the squad of 'Artificial Imbeciles' that accompany you on your expedition. Team AI is undeniably deficient, with team members that run between the nose of your active rifle and the lead-receiving enemy, in turn resulting in a mission failure for inappropriate conduct. But the convoluted decisions don't stop there, as some members (that'll be the ironically-named 'Jester') feel as though they'd rather not fight today, leaving you to eradicate the entire playing field by your lonesome. Another example? Well, take for instance the vehicles; getting Jester to mount up is a battle of patience and aggravation, with Jester roaming around the desert as if looking for a particular grain of sand. A double edged sword, as the ludicrous decisions often etch a permanent smile onto your bemused face, but perhaps not so when Jester brutally murders the VIP for the third time running. Yes, Jester, I haven't forgotten about those early hours of the morning you so carelessly wasted.

So what of the enemy A.I, you ask? Don't even go there. Seriously, the scripted nature of SOCOM 3 means that you have to complete certain tasks or liquidate certain terrorist groups in order to progress, and while this nudges the game along at a magnificent pace, targeted enemies can often flee to a currently inaccessible area of the map, hence the lengthy mission grinds to rather loathsome standstill. Zipper Interactive, though, have lovingly remedied this ghastly glitch (although it still grates) with the integration of frequently placed checkpoints - a first for the SOCOM series. These babies stop wicked little Jester from spoiling an otherwise well-designed game and you'll never have to worry too much about re-treading previously explored ground. However, while these checkpoints are mandatory, it seems that Zipper have gone a little checkpoint crazy, resulting in a relatively easy campaign, even if it does reduce the stomach-churning frustration somewhat. Easy it may be, but that doesn't stop SOCOM 3 from pulling all of the strings to deliver the most realistic fantasy warfare you'll ever experience.

Perhaps the biggest contributing factor to SOCOM 3's blinding realism, is the sensational effort taken to caress the minuscule bones within your ears (yes, I'm talking about the audio, not the headset - but more on that in a mo!). The musical mastery behind SOCOM's third instalment spouts from the accomplished mind of James Michael Dooley, responsible for the likes of such movies as Gladiator, Mission Impossible 2 and, err, Madagascar (no, wait! Don't go!). Seriously though, the orchestral score is powerful, encouraging and moving - and I assure you, it features absolutely no squawking animal voiceovers. Speaking of vocalisation though, the narrative development has been handled absolutely brilliantly, thanks to some stellar voice acting during numerous well rendered cut scenes, displaying delicious snippets of the terrorist leader cursing like your drunken uncle at a Christmas do. Played in VVLDD (that's very, very loud Dolby Digital by the way), you'll become acquainted with the finer sounds of war. Guns crackle with mind-boggling authenticity, gunboats crash against oncoming waves while their motors grind thunderously and grenades pollute the airwaves with their ear-piercing potential. Oh how your neighbours will despise you!

What's that? You're still interested in the headset? Well, as with the previous SOCOMs, voice command via a USB headset once again allows you to bark orders at Jester and co. While this may seem like the most practical method of squad control, those artificial imbeciles aren't the most attentive beings on Earth, even when using the wondrously efficient dual shock controls. A real shame, as this would have enhanced the experience magnificently, and you never know, perhaps we could have ordered Jester to take a running jump into the nearest mine infested enemy camp.

But before you go tossing you headset into the closet, you might want to reserve it for the sensational online play on offer. That's right, ladies and gentleman, wave goodbye to Jester and company and embrace instead countless online noob-calling imbeciles. 31 of them to be precise, plus your good self (you don't call people noobs, do you?) Let's put that into perspective shall we, that's, unless my mathematical mind deceives me, precisely twice that of next-gen extravaganza, Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter on Xbox 360. In fact, I'm going to pause to let you digest that last piece of information. Done? Right, onto the new modes that'll have you salivating uncontrollably. First up, Convoy, an espionage orientated battle to make Solid Snake proud, requires the Navy SEALs to sneak convoy trucks past the bloodthirsty terrorists. Next up, Control, sees the online community divided into separate mobs, each with the singular aim of placing markers on all designated areas of the playing field before the other team - think of it as Perfect Dark Zero's capturable respawn points, if you will. In all, the new additions spell out the word 'fun' with a big capital F (and U and N!)

It's somewhat mystifying then, that the online community seems so keen to flock back to modes such as Suppression and Demolition, although truth be told, they have been given a new lease of life due to the game's dexterous engine. Take for instance the expansive maps and electrifying vehicles, encouraging you to work cooperatively, with one player driving, one getting to grips with the mounted weaponry and two players swearing at foes in the backseat. Nicely done, guys. The game engine also allows for nighttime battles that change the mode of play somewhat and you'll have to kit out your SEAL with the desired gadgetry in order to make it back in one piece.

Ah, the gadgetry and gizmos, how could I forget! Although the ordinary load-out for the campaign mode will see you through the bloodshed, online play is an entirely different ball game, where the slightest deficiency in gadgetry will cost you your life. Before the online opposition begins, you'll be presented with an intimidating menu of weaponry and snazzy add-ons, such as scopes and laser sighting, with which to equip your SEAL. Don't get too gadget-greedy though; pack too much and you'll become over-encumbered, with your SEAL now moving slower than you Grandad's 1950s Citroen. These modes are as life-consumingly addictive as ever and you really do owe it to yourself to at least sample SOCOM 3's sophisticated multiplayer wares.

SOCOM 3: US Navy SEALs is the quintessential PlayStation2 online title and one that's further enhanced by the integration of a more than worthy single player campaign. With its breathtakingly expansive environments, unparalleled musical mastery and enough gadgetry to make Sam Fisher look about as deadly as Action Man with a broken arm, SOCOM 3 both dazzles and delights. Forget Jester and his disobedient AI and prepare to hang out with the cool kids over at the PlayStation2 Network; if you have a network adapter then this really is an essential purchase.

Reviewed by Ricky Lee Staines for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).