"I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread," laments Bilbo Baggins to Gandolf as the One Ring takes its toll. Don't worry - this is the review for MX vs ATV Untamed and not a Lord of the Rings game - it's just that Bilbo's simile is an accurate description of the problems faced by any game with a multi-platform release, though in the case of Untamed it's actually an every-platform release. The game seems to hold up reasonably well on PS3, 360, PSP and DS, but it's the PS2 version that stands out as the black sheep of the bunch.

I'll go ahead and state the obvious: this game isn't for everybody. If you're into off-road motor sports, have a Fox Racing t-shirt and know who Ricky Carmichael is then it's likely that you'll enjoy Untamed. Then again, if you meet the former criteria, you likely ride ATVs or bikes for real and don't need a virtual simulation - but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, if you liked Unleashed then you'll be familiar with Untamed, as there's not too much going on in this newest installment that wasn't there before. On the other hand, if you have merely a mild interest in MX and ATV machines or are just searching for a racing fix, the PS2 version of Untamed is just too sloppy to bother with.

Lately I'm perplexed at the shirking of career modes in genres that not only benefit from their inclusion, but virtually require them to be successful. Untamed isn't devoid of this feature, but it does go about the career mode in a very disconnected, broad fashion. Once you create your profile, the data from every event you participate in gets recorded - fastest lap times, what position you placed, special points you acquire to spend in the store and so on. There's no particular order in which you enter racing events though; you just pick one of the several modes like X-Cross (which combines Supercross, Rally, Supermoto and Opencross), Gaps (off-road rally) Waypoint, or other combinations of said modes, and off you go. This isn't necessarily a bad thing if you're into more of an arcade style of play, but a rigid career mode is a staple of the racing genre for a reason. Untamed could have prospered from having both styles of play as opposed to just the one, in order to cater to a wider range of players. As it is, there's no real sense of accomplishment or progression as you play.

Like a cherry on top, the lack of a thorough career mode isn't helped by the jumble of endless menus - seriously, I've seen RPGs with less menus than Untamed. Come to think of it, I've organized, equipped and trained hordes of warriors with more ease than I was able to choose a track and a ride and fling some mud; it's a veritable Matryoshka doll, a menu inside of a menu inside of another menu. I laughed at the ridiculousness of being asked three times if I wanted to overwrite my save, but the laughing soon subsided when I was asked after every event was completed. I was under the impression that the auto-save feature was in vogue these days.

It wouldn't be so bad if, once you breached the initial confusion of the modes, the game played smoothly - but the physics of Untamed are, to me, a little off. Granted, I'm not entirely familiar with all aspects of motorsports, but Untamed's bikes feel as though you're liable to go careening off into the bushes at the slightest jostle from the course's crater-like terrain or a bump from your dastardly opponents. The uneasiness only worsens when you sail into the air from a jump and your fate lies in the hands of the MX gods. You'll either land safely or, thanks to played-out rag doll physics, go through an excruciating slow-motion cocktail of flailing limbs and your runaway ride. Thankfully you're not limited to bikes though and ATVs feel much more safe and solid; too bad this negates half of the appeal of the game.

But physics are only half the battle when it comes to the genre. Courses have an equal share in the success of any racer and Untamed's are, well, let's not beat around the bush here - they're boring. Only one or two feel properly balanced; the majority of courses are either too long or too short, not to mention that by default you'll be racing each course several times. Once you choose a race you can pick the number of laps, but the default setting is five. You'll often forget to change this as you mash buttons just to get through the onslaught of menu screens and into the actual game. With the race finally upon you, you're given the option to give the course a practice run. You can skip this, but doing the practice run allows you select which gate you start out of (though if it makes a difference, I never noticed). Upon completing the practice laps you'll have to race through two different heats. In conclusion, if you have the default setting of five laps and you carry out the practice run, that's fifteen times in a row around one course. That's a lot for any racer, especially a bad one. If I wanted to bore my way through a course that many times then I'd play NASCAR.

I have a real problem with Untamed because it's the first game I've seen that truly makes the PS2 look dated. To see a game look this bad on the same system that pumped out the graphical marvel that is God of War II, seven years after its launch mind you, is an insult to the console. The game is near devoid of textures, while everything from the HUD to the machines and riders themselves are a muddy blur. I wouldn't be surprised if the PS2 version is on par with that of the DS. Through the store you can customize your ride with decals, but once you're into the actual race, any changes you made are unrecognizable thanks to the lack of detail - yet another feature of the game voided.

I hate to gripe even more, but it's hard to stop something you're good at. Very rarely am I a fan of licensed music, since music is, like art, one of the most subjective forms of creativity; nearly everyone is different in their musical tastes. Note to EA: just because I love football and basketball doesn't mean I listen to the latest pop hits. Untamed has a list of sound-the-same rock tunes that grate on the ears faster than nails on a chalkboard. Worst of all is that in order to skip a track you've got to pause the game and go through four of five menus just to be rid of it! And like a hilarious joke, if you're racing around a long course five times (default, remember?), you might get to hear the very song you just skipped ONE MORE TIME! Yes, of course you have the option to silence the music altogether, but for the PS2 there's no "play music from your hard drive" feature.

Die-hard PS2 owners who can't sate their off-road racing thirst will be able to stomach the problems with MX vs ATV Untamed. The casual audience, however, is better off playing the previous title, Unleashed, or trying Untamed on PS3 or 360. Call me nostalgic, but even with Untamed's officially licensed music, the racing sponsors and celebrity endorsements, I'd rather play a round of Excitebike any day.

Reviewed by Scott R. Schmidt for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).