Nobody likes to stick to a budget. That word budget means you can't have what you want - that's my definition of it anyway. When you build a computer you stick to a budget, so one of the components in bound to be crippled. Or when you're decorating you set aside a budget and you can almost guarantee that the nicest wallpaper is out of financial reach. The word budget is at its worst when it's used with the word game. Budget game. Rarely able to compete with the big boys, budget games worth buying are few and far between. And when you hear that Miami Vice is another game based on an Eighties license from the makers of Knight Rider 2, then all expectations of a classic pretty much disappear.

To be frank, I don't know who this game is targeted at. Miami Vice is an old Eighties show, much like Knight Rider, but this one is less well known, at least in Britain. I'd never really heard of Miami Vice before and there are no repeats on satellite for me to enjoy; but if the series is as bad as the game, then I wouldn't make it through a single episode. First Knight Rider, then Miami Vice - next they'll be making Minder The Game, where you can play as Arthur Daley and his Minder, selling faulty cars and doing odd jobs here and there.

So, you load the game up, to see a basic no frills menu. New game, load game, options and secrets are all here for you to choose from. Now, as we all know, curiously killed the cat and, being something of a pussy lover, I decided to check out the secrets menu. What secrets could this game have in store for us? Normally I don't spoil surprises and people who have read my reviews know this - but I'm going to tell you, because there really is no surprise here. Credits. You get view to people who made this game.

But, I'm digressing somewhat. When you've managed to pull yourself away from Miami Vice's deepest darkest secrets, you'll start a new game. There's a small FMV to kick the game off, which looks very nice - the two cops who you play as talk to some Eighties dressed people and the conversation between them is quite good. I don't know if the voices are from the original actors, but they sounded fine. The lips weren't really in sync but the opener was actually quite promising on the whole.

And then, with no tutorial or anything fancy (and expensive) like that, the game starts. The camera firmly places itself behind the white cop, wearing oversized sunshades. Once I figured out the clumsy controls, I decided to take my first steps. The initial problem was that the controls seemed oversensitive, like a learner driver that presses accelerate down too hard. It didn't take me long to adjust - I ran around the corner, only to experience some unbearable slowdown. I thought this problem may have been because I'd just loaded the game up, but alas, I was wrong. This problem persists on every level, around every corner.

So I got my pistol out and aimed it at a bad guy across the way. The gunplay is actually quite fun from afar, because it requires a lot of ducking and peering around corners. I would pop a few bullets, duck down to regain lost energy, reload and come back up to shoot some more lead. I did find this aspect satisfying. I also liked to put my back to the wall, shimmy along to the corner and jump out guns blazing - but it's rare you can experience that, because the smart AI knows you are coming, which doesn't allow for much stealth.

Gun combat at close quarters is clumsy, however. If you get close the camera goes berserk, spinning around and giving you a more than awkward viewpoint. This can be annoying if you've nearly completed the level and you come into close range with an enemy - things can take a turn for the worse through no fault of your own. However, if you manage to survive you can take cover and your health charges up on its own.

There's not much depth to this game; it's a basic shooter with the odd puzzle here and there, although to refer to them as puzzles is a joke. You don't know where to go, so you walk around. In the distance there is a door, with a sign saying, "Do not enter." You go up to the door, which obviously, could not be entered. Needing a key, you search the area, which was clear a minute ago. Suddenly a new enemy spawns, so you shoot him down only to find he's dropped a key. Any guesses what you have to do with that key?

The graphics aren't too bad, when the camera isn't spinning out of control and you're not turning around corners, experiencing slowdown. There are some nice looking objects; the first level sees a lot of abandoned vehicles, such as forklift trucks, all of which look nice. However, many of these nice looking objects are repeated throughout the levels, so you're going to get bored pretty soon. There are some nice lighting effects in places but it's not even close to games like Splinter Cell and here the lighting effects are spoilt by the poor wall textures that they shine upon.

A lot of the budget was probably injected into the nice looking objects above, but the sound was pretty much overlooked. Firstly, the in-game music is dreadful; I couldn't bear listening to it. When the game tries to be tense, the music gets worse, with eerie-type music that does your head in. It's the same five second eerie loop repeated until you feel like you've entered the Twilight Zone - you've got to love the mute button. The theme tune isn't so bad; even though I've never heard it before, it sounds quite catchy! The voices in the game aren't too shabby either - the dialogue between characters is pretty good but there are some characters that sport funny voices, which don't really suit their faces. The two main characters are good though and they come out with amusing phrases in battle from time to time Sadly these can't always be heard due to the horrendous gunfire noises. Some gun noises are okay, but other noises such as the ricochets sound awful, like a techno squeal. It reminded me of the retro era and not in a warm, fuzzy, longing way either.

It's kind to say that Miami Vice hasn't got much going for it and it seems targeted at the tiniest audience; not many kids are going to want to relive those Eighties memories they don't have while adults will be put off by the simple and mediocre nature of the gameplay. The graphics and sound are average at best and this is such an unoriginal action game that I can't see it holding any gamer's attention. This really is a classic example of an obsolete license that should never have been made into a game. At least it is a budget game though, so if you really want to ruin your day, you can do it for little money. But as for me, I'm left with either a tea coaster or a Frisbee. [Or how about two uses in one - it's a coaster, AND it's a Frisbee! Just don't use it as both at the same time, because that could make a mess… Ed]

Reviewed by Dexter Pearson for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).