After playing Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction, I had to check the fuel prices, confirm the price of Fish and Chips and make sure that the Xbox has been invented, because it felt like I'd travelled back in time. If I had travelled back in time, were conspiracies like this going about? I doubt it. Still, this game feels like it belongs on the PSOne. If this game had been released way back then, you'd be reading a positive review. My conspiracy theory is that budget games are just there to waste your time and money. I can't be far wrong, can I?

My first person shooting skills aren't second to none and I often get a beating from Geoff and Chris on Xbox Live. I do put up something of a fight though. All I can say about Conspiracy, is that a combination of a clunky game engine and bad controls would see a pro-FPS gamer struggle to play it..

You play as some guy who is working for some agency and is on a mission to search for weapons of mass destruction. You're no James Bond, although you'd think that James Bond would be on a mission like this - surely it's too dangerous for a nobody like this character. But I digress. This is the top and bottom of the story. You never hear your character speak and you never see him from some crazy camera angle. All you see is some poorly rendered gun in front of you. There are two mistakes here. Firstly, it's hard to get into a game if you cannot relate in any way with the character you're playing. The lack of personality really affects the proceedings, especially with such a proliferation of quality shooters with memorable characters and great stories available. Secondly, the poor looking guns make you feel like you're holding a 'My First AK 47' from Fisher Price. [From the day I got My First Rocket Launcher I've never looked back! Ed[ Does this thing shoot real bullets? Are you sure?

Which brings me to my next gripe. When I'm shooting the repetitive looking enemies with my toy gun, they drop to the ground like a really bad extra in a Jackie Chan action comedy. "Ow, you shot me!" says the bad actor before over dramatically falling to the ground! While the enemies in this game don't say that particular phrase, you can expect some over the top effects that are bound to provoke a chuckle in what's supposed to be a deadly serious game. After all, a weapon of mass destruction is no laughing matter!

As you walk through the drab environments, shooting down bad actors with your Fisher Price gun, expect to be briefed by a man-sounding babe. "There might be traps about, look out!" she says, in a really quiet yet manly voice. She really is a star for pointing out the obvious but I feel that her vocals do absolutely nothing for the game except to make you laugh, which at least helps you stay awake, if nothing else. Other sounds in the game consist of tinny explosions and tinny sounding gunfire. The graphics keep true to the tinny feeling sounds -the AI enemies move around like rusty tin-robots in basic backgrounds and uninspired environments. Actually, I'll try my best to tie the last part in with tin. The environments are about as much fun as looking at a tin can of value coca cola - they're mainly white with the odd blue stripe!

Before closing this review, I need to mention the AI once more. It's the AI that really makes the game bad. I can put aside bad animations and bad sound if shooting the enemies is fun. But it's not. It's just wrong. I go in there with my gun, expecting a challenge and they just stand there waiting for me to kill them. They might shoot me a few times with their gun but the bullets do an unnoticeable amount of damage - either that, or they're missing me at near point blank range! This just adds to my toy gun conspiracy. God knows why this game has earned itself a 16+ rating. There is a bit of blood present when you shoot people but bodies don't stay on the floor, they simply disappear. When you die, a little white message appears on screen saying "We will all miss you, Cole," which might disturb people under twelve but I still feel the 16+ rating is a little over the top considering things. Maybe there is a Hot Coffee mod for this that unlocks some sort of sex game?

In the end, Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction isn't a game you'd want to spend money on. It's not exactly a game that I'd like to be given either - it's not worthy of a space on my gaming shelf, which consists of Halo 2 and GTA: San Andreas. I'm a man of simple pleasures, which means I'm happy with the little things in life - I'm not materialistic and most of the time I'm a happy guy. For the first time ever I'm going to have to shudder at this simplistic, outdated shooting game, throw my hands up and ask for a pleasure that's not just as simple as Conspiracy. If you want me, I'll be having a game of Space Invaders!

Reviewed by Dexter Pearson for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).