Back in 1979 we were witness to the ultimate alien killing machine, a creature so hideous and vile in its conception that it gives you chills just to look at it. Cold, calculating and relentless, the titular Alien seems intent on one thing and one thing alone - reproducing. And to do that, it needs a host, where its young can gestate and gain the sustenance needed to mature to adulthood. Of course, the Alien isn't the only extra-terrestrial killing machine out in the vast reaches of space - there is another that's almost as vicious and definitely as lethal. Armed with sophisticated viewing technology, a cloaking device and a deadly array of brutal weaponry, the Predator hunts not for reproduction, but for recreation. It seems that the human race isn't the only species daft enough to think they can manipulate the Aliens for their own purposes, and the Predators were making use of them while we were still running around in the jungle with spears. You'd think that Alien vs Predator would be the fight of the century.

The story begins when massive corporation Weyland Industries spots a surge of energy deep beneath the Antarctic ice, leading to the discovery of an underground temple that has been there for a very long time, and shares architectural traits with several major ancient civilisations. Weyland himself puts together a crack team of experts at very short notice, and rushes out to stake his claim on this find before anyone else can get there. However, once inside the temple, it becomes all too clear that humans were never meant to walk these corridors. With an alien queen shackled at the base of the temple, and the predators on their way to join the party, you just know that few, if any, of the hapless human trespassers are destined to survive - the most they can hope for is a quick death; one that doesn't involve an alien bursting out of their chest.

Paul W. S. Anderson writes and directs this movie, and despite a high budget and fantastic special effects, it entirely failed to move me. I've been thinking about what more could have been done to enhance the emotional impact of the film, and I confess it's a struggle to think of a better way of doing things. Sure, it's an action/horror, but it's just not a patch on Alien, Aliens, or Predator, all of which are true classics, where you really care about the human heroes, in particular Sigourney Weaver's Ripley and Arnie's character, Dutch. Here, however, you're hardly given the chance to get to know, or care about, any of the humans before the body count rises and the explorers drop like flies. One of the problems is definitely a lack of tension; we're not in the temple very long before the action kicks off and the death scenes are too sudden to keep us on the edge of our seats. Another problem is the lack of screen time for the actors, which means that we don't care that much when they start dying - despite Ewen Bremner (Spud from Trainspotting) repeatedly showing us a photo of his two beautiful boys. "I'm a loving father, please shed a tear for me when I die horribly!" The poor bloke might as well have had a big red target painted on his forehead!

Despite the lack of emotional involvement, it's fair to say that the stars of this film are most definitely not the humans; both the aliens and the predators look excellent and the special effects are outstanding. The predators are a powerful presence on screen, and they look just as cool as ever, making use of all of their weapons as they lay waste to their prey, both human and alien. Meanwhile, the aliens look just as stunning; I don't recall a single shot where they looked like a special effect. When the predator and alien came face to face for the first time, I felt a definite thrill of excitement - this is what I'd been waiting for! And the fight scenes between the two species are very well conceived and stylishly directed, with gruesome deaths for both sides of the conflict. Meanwhile, the ancient temple looks fantastic - it's grand in design, intricately detailed with symbolic representations of the aliens and predators in battle and features big predator statues. It looks totally authentic and the set designers really did a spectacular job throughout.

Most of the cast are hardly worth mentioning, because they get so little screen time before being bumped off! They're not given great material to work with, but they all do a good enough job, and Lance Henrikson is as charismatic as ever as Weyland, who we see from a magazine cover is the world's foremost robotics expert - thus explaining why his likeness is used for the Bishop line of robots in Aliens, which is a great touch! Ewen Bremner succeeds in being very likeable as Miller, considering how little screen time he has, and you're definitely hoping that he'll be amongst the survivors - maybe that photo gimmick did work after all! Sanaa Lathan is great as Alexa Woods, who is in some ways the leader of the expedition, as the expert guide appointed by Weyland. Despite a very good performance from her, comparisons with Ripley are inevitable and she simply doesn't measure up. The great thing about Ripley is that she is absolutely terrified out of her mind the whole time, yet still manages to keep it together and somehow survive against all the odds. Alexa is a gutsy and likeable heroine, but she doesn't really appear as scared as she damn well should be! Raoul Bova is also very likeable and quite charismatic as archaeologist Sebastian de Rosa, who, along with Alexa, you think might just have what it takes to survive.

The mythology of the predator and alien world is consistent with previous films, apart from the very speedy gestation time of the aliens, which go from egg to fully matured alien within sixty minutes or less, which is something of a stretch of believability, although they just about get away with it when the nature of the temple, and the reason for the alien queen being there, is revealed; we can only assume this is a breed that reproduces super-fast. The aliens are just as captivating to watch as always, and seeing the way the predators handle them is simply awesome - although some of the predators aren't such good fighters as others. There's a nice twist towards the end with the remaining human characters and although I can't really discuss it without spoiling too much, it's a natural evolution of events in Predator 2 (where the observant amongst you will have noticed an Alien skull on the wall of the predators' ship) and it works really well. The way the predators are written into our ancient history is also a nice touch - if perhaps a little illogical. While we only get tantalised with brief glimpses of both races for the first third of the film, there's plenty to see once we get into the action, and the bitch is well and truly back!

Both the video and audio quality are excellent - the picture is very sharp and crystal clear, while the special effects are perfectly blended and never look anything but completely real. There's one scene (in an imagined flashback) that sees literally thousands of aliens swarming up a temple to attack a few predators in a desperate last stand, and this really is totally spectacular. The music is good enough, but no strong themes come through and it's instantly forgettable.

The extras are very stingy and they've clearly skimped on this single disc version, to entice you into buying the Special Extreme Edition. There are two commentaries, one from writer/director Paul W. S. Anderson, and stars Lance Henrikson and Sanaa Lathan, and a second one from key members of the special effects team, Alec Gillis, Tom Woodruff and John Bruno, an 'Inside Look' at three Fox films (basically very brief featurette-style trailers) and a DVD-Rom comic book. And that's your lot! Well, the extended version is here, as well as the theatrical version, so that's a bonus. It's very disappointing - could they not have even given us a couple of special effects featurettes that they save for the other edition?

Alien vs Predator is enjoyable enough if you switch your brain off, and there's no disputing that the action scenes are as well directed as the special effects are spectacular, but the lack of good characters and the very hollow story make this a film that simply doesn't live up to its wonderful premise. It's worth a watch for fans of either film series, and simply to see the universe's two most ruthless extra-terrestrials going up against each other, but it fails to really make an impact. Here's what I'd like to see for AVP 2 - the aliens finally get unleashed on present day Earth, and the predators turn up en masse to try and destroy the rapidly multiplying horde without having to fall back to the resort of blowing up the planet, whilst a group of hapless survivors in a war-torn city are caught up in the middle of the war. And instead of being there at the start of the conflict, the story begins near the end, with the aliens having overrun most nations and the human/predator alliance fast running out of options that don't involve nuclear warheads and the probable extinction of humanity. Now that would be something worth watching! [Note: If any directors are reading this, I'll be happy to draft up a screenplay ;-) ].

Reviewed by Geoff Holland for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).