Ah, fishing - the building block of all harmonious father and son relationships. That is until the Argos dingy boat deflates, maggots wriggle their way into your chicken sarnie and the trigger-happy landowner shoots you in the leg. And that's all before Dad bursts headlong into explaining the birds and the bees, not to mention calling upon all manner of fishing implements as visual aids...

It's safe to say then that fishing doesn't rank highly amongst my all-time favourite pastimes. As it would happen, the good guys and gals at Big Fish Games seem to feel my pain, doing away with all the intricacies of the 'sport' that basically revolves around two damp men in an Essex marshland with long pointy sticks. No maggots, no bullet wounds, and not a damp, smelly man in sight. That's right ladies and gentlemen, the dullest sport in the world just got duller.

If anything, Fish Tycoon has more in common with the likes of nintendogs than RollerCoaster Tycoon, serving more as a virtual aquarium than the business simulation of yore. Tossing aside the usual tycoon-esque activities, Fish Tycoon doesn't ask that you nurture your own store, manage finances or do, well, anything really. There's a convoluted story too; it appears that the luscious resort of Isola has become engulfed in misery, so it's up to you to breed seven magical fish in order to restore balance so that Paris Hilton doesn't have to go to Butlins this year.

That Fish Tycoon trades economics for a much more streamlined approach however is something of a double-edged sword. Whilst the real-time world and fifteen-minute-a-day mantra will be music to the ears of the Brain Training generation, a lacklustre approach to providing captivating gameplay mechanics will put off the budding Bransons. That said, with its cumbersome controls and decidedly niche (let alone restrictive) subject matter, it's hard to see how this could ever appeal to the mainstream it so mercilessly targets.

If considered a casual experience with only a minor strategic leaning, Fish Tycoon actually has some rather enjoyable mechanics. The likes of feeding your school, hatching eggs, cleaning out the fish tank and dropping medicine into the fish tank to cure illness could have provided a fun distraction, but their implementation feels somewhat uninspired. Whereas nintendogs had you interacting with your virtual pups seamlessly within the game experience, Fish Tycoon has you navigating troublesome menus in order to do the simplest of things. In-game text is frequently illegible and, to make matters worse, the menus are cluttered and over-contrived, causing navigation to become a casual gamer's nightmare.

Take for instance the sale of your fish - it's enough to make you wonder why Captain Birdseye hasn't packed it all in and got a 9 to 5 job at Woolworths. In addition to catching the desired fish, keeping it in a temporary tank, flicking between menus, checking the species, adjusting the price and moving your fish into the sale tank, you also have to endure an arduous wait in the Fish Store. This is Fish Tycoon's only economical streak and, bar the price of the fish, the only aspect of the store you have direct control over is the camera. This serves only to divert your attention to the frankly atrocious A.I. at play, with horridly polygonal punters wobbling in and out of your store. The game also lets you know whether punters like the fish on display. However, this seems entirely based on personal taste, meaning that no in-game mechanics can be altered in order to boost sales.

Strategically, the game is broken. It's certainly disheartening to spend around 600 big ones curing your fish and cleaning out the grimy tank, only to earn about 18 dollars from its sale. Of course, you could always adjust the price of your fish, but this only succeeds in a longer waiting time in the Fish Store. While it's true that the rarer fish generate a steady income, few would be inclined to endure the pitfalls leading to this point in the game. Those who do however will be able to treat themselves to items in the menu's shop, like decorative shells and little diver figures to lavish their fish tanks, supposedly leveraging sales.

Aesthetically speaking, Fish Tycoon is an inconsistent mess of poor 3D renders, incomprehensible icons and shoddy sprites. The fish tanks, with their blue, tranquil charm look positively twee, but to watch the jagged and downright poorly animated fish swimming within them ruins the ambiance somewhat. The in-game music, from the bizarrely epic opening sequence to the saxophone-led main themes set the scene beautifully; it's just a shame that loops are seemingly incomplete and that the game's obsessive auto save feature pauses the music frequently.

Even at its budget price, it's hard to recommend Fish Tycoon to any party, hardcore or casual. Whatever effort has been made to appeal to either has been marred by frightfully primitive mechanics and a user interface that will enrage even the most patient of gamers. The real time world is certainly inspired, meaning that those who play for ten minutes or so over several months will be justly rewarded with new items and fish, but in terms of interactivity and a sense of progression, Fish Tycoon simply doesn't have the charm of nintendogs. I blame those lil' puppy dog eyes...

Reviewed by Ricky Lee Staines for AceGamez (All Rights Reserved).